jokes

Joke 1

Three men wait at the gates of heaven on Christmas Eve. They're
told they have to present a Christmas gift to get in. The first man checks his
pockets and finds pine needles from his family's tree. He's allowed in. The
second hands over a bow and some ribbon. He's allowed in. The third man pulls
out a pair of panties. "How do those represent Christmas?" St. Peter asks him.
"Oh," the man replies, "they're Carol's."

joke 2

Two nuns are driving down a road late at night when a vampire
jumps onto the hood of their car. The one nun says to the other, "Quick! Show him your cross!" So the other nun leans out the window and shouts, "Get off our f--ing car!"

joke 3

On the chest of a barmaid at Yale,
Were tattooed the prices of ale.
And on her behind, for the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.

Joke 4

Why should all hurricanes be named after women?
-When they arrive, they're wet and wild, and when they leave, they take your house and car.


joke 5

An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells "Super Pussy!" The old man says "I'll have the soup."